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Chocolate makes everything better. Except obesity.
Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google and Wikipedia.
That little dance your thumbs do when you don’t know how to answer to a text.
The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.
I’m on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle.
Nerd Wedding: Instead of Bride and Groom saying “I do,” they say, “I accept the Terms and Conditions.”
“What doesn’t kill you makes you smaller.” ~Mario
Cool Fact: You can’t hum if you plug your nose!
I just read last year 4,153,237 ppl got married. I don`t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number?
Hey Cupid, can you shoot both of us next time? Thanks
